Remote Learning

I hate watching my kids deal with remote learning.

Laura does well in any environment, but she misses seeing teachers face-to-face. I realize that is a bit ironic since she has never actually met her teachers having started Hickman High School this year. Every class is still an A, but it is not the same.

John would rather do anything than learn online. It is a constant struggle that we fight every day. He is constantly behind in his classes, which leads to a lot of time with me as he catches up. I was actually pleasantly surprised tonight when he sat down to work on an assignment BEFORE it was due.

I have yelled more at my kids since March than I ever have. I have actually hidden in my closet as I struggled to avoid saying those words that you can never take back. I have spent countless hours being frustrated because sometimes I just want to say to John, “BE LIKE YOUR SISTER! Just do your damn classwork during class!”

Yes, my head realizes this is the safest option, but my heart is another matter entirely. I AM NOT A TEACHER. I started WIU fully intending to be a teacher and that lasted a grand total of two semesters. I figured out after observing elementary kids in the actual classroom that teaching was not for me. I switched to English and History, and I walked out ready to take on the editing world. I have had to listen to so many comments recently about how parents like me are selfish because “school is not daycare,” or “you had these children, so you signed up for this.” It makes me feel worse.

Am I okay? Yes. I am just frustrated today. So, I poured myself a drink and talked John through homework. I am still not a teacher though, and I cannot wait until both kids are back in school. They miss it. They need it. I need it too.

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