Welcome…

...to the stories of our every day. It's memories, funny stories, spilled milk, frustration, happiness, laughter, love, fun, fear, smiles, sadness, highs, lows, and life never to be forgotten all because Jill unknowingly gave me "the push."

Realization

While working with another person today at work, I had the realization that I really dislike most of the work that I do.  The person I was working with felt bad because she thought that she was annoying or upsetting me, which was not the case at all.  I tried to tell her that our discussions of opposing viewpoints was not the issue, but I am not sure she really believed me.  It simply boils down to the fact that I am not happy.  When I interviewed for this position, I was honest and stated that I did not want to be writing and editing the majority of the time.  Unfortunately, that is what I am doing and there is no end in sight for the foreseeable future.  In my younger life, I went to college to be an editor.  It was my passion.  Those days are long gone.  A few years of actual editing work made me realize that it was, in fact, not my passion.  I am a planner and an organizer.  I manage projects and people.  Designing, writing, and editing is fine in small doses, but not in large.  I have a lot of work that needs to be accomplished and I am finding it extremely difficult to motivate myself to actually do the work.  I have this internal war.  I want to do high quality work, but, at the same time, my level of caring about any of these projects is low.  This is all made even more difficult by the fact that I really like the people at my work and the thought of leaving them makes me sad.  So, now, what do I do?  Do I try to hold on for a while longer and hope that something will open that is more inline with what I love to do?  Do I start putting out resumes?  Have I pigeon-holed myself here and the only option is to move on?  So much to think about and consider…

And I realize there is extreme irony in the fact that I do this daily blog…  I love to design, write, and edit each post, but this is my life and I am recording memories.  I wish I could say the same about my work.